One of my fellow VLI students loaned me a pair of books. I was skeptical but thought it best to give them a read anyhow. They have been fascinating!
Something I learned from the marriage preparation classes our church put us through was the phrase, “Not wrong, just different.” It was suggested to me that each and every time my wife does something that ticks me off I should repeat the phrase a couple of times internally and see if she’s simply different about the thing, or, truly wrong. You’d be suprised how few arguments we have had simply because of that little phrase! We have been married now for going on 8 and a half years, looking to take our marriage vows seriously when we said “’till death do us part or Jesus comes again.”
Reading through “Cross Cultural Connections” I found Duane Elmer describing the exact phrase that’s been so helpful in married life. It’s pointed out that there is a definite “right” and a definite “wrong” yet between the two is a grey area marked “different”. How big that area is and what it covers is defined culturally for us. What I define to be wrong might not be so bad for someone else and vice-versa. For instance, length of hair in church: its not a big deal to me (then again, neither is smoking, tattoos and body piercings) where someone from my father’s generation would freak totally. If you’re called to reach out to those who dont know Jesus, its worth remembering that their culture and the Christian sub-culture will differ on what falls in the 3 buckets (Right / Wrong / Different). The gospel itself can be an offense, so let’s not add any more through cultural mistakes!